This is the second part to a blog entitled "P.B. Versus The "One"; I would recommend giving it a read before reading this but hey maybe just for fun you feel like doing it ass backwards; enjoy.
A pair bonding is an equilibrium of one another; it is both partners being able to be their complete self without worries, without even the slightest amount of doubt; the two of them know that they can tell each other anything. Not only this though; they support each other to the point of no return; none of this talking garbage; these two are willing to do anything to help the other; and asking for help is unnecessary; it is not needed. The partner just knows from the actions of his (or her) significant other. It is more than just a balance and a supporting system though, in a proper pair bonding the opposing sex challenges you to be a better you. Anytime he or she does anything they are more confident; more focused; and willing to challenge themselves to the utmost extent as they know their decisions will be supported and respected. Kind of like how any person in sports or music has their "time" during a proper pair bonding it is both of the individuals involved "time"; their auras just shine, lighting the world.
How does one get there?
It was not a lengthy duration ago when an extremely close friend of mine and I got into this intense conversation. At the beginning it was more of a comparison of one individual's relationship in relation to another person's relationship. Soon hereafter though we got into the deeper meaning of questions as to how a Pair bonding can work properly and what was needed prior to involving one's self into the realm of a serious relationship. Without the following things no relationship will work properly as you will make your partner resent you or will end up being a completely different person somewhere in the relationship. That is the most common issue when it comes to a long term relationship one day both partners involved; wake up wondering:
What happened?
What happened to the love we had why are we always arguing?
Where did the person I met go?
Young adolescents get into relationships so quickly and here they feel so enthralled with one and another. Next thing you know both parties are dropping the "L" word and telling everyone how they are not like other couples; these two are special; indestructible. Bullshit! Their relationship goes down the tube quicker than the little pigs house that was built out of straw; one huff and one puff and that is it all gone; poof; invisible. All that they had never mattered but they made it a big deal.
Almost everyone is afraid to end up alone, in a constant position of solitude and confinement, which includes having no one to make them laugh and smile when the times get rough. That is why they get into situations of settling where they know that they are not happy yet the relationship is both comfortable enough and works well enough to keep both people from running or finding something better.
Our whole day and age is all about comfort and luxuries.
This is why experience is a necessity to any individual prior to a solid working relationship of happiness and joy. Every person's failed efforts of love and relationships makes them better. They can analyze and learn what made this negative outcome occur and stop it from repeating itself.A man is mistreated and emotionally abused to the point where he snaps and disregards the women of whom he was in a relationship with and so he now knows not to let another relationship get to that point. A women is loving and caring, her boyfriend is unfaithful and promises he will never do it again and yet he destroys her trust and her heart once more; she now knows what can happen if she stays with someone who has cheated. Without the prior influence of relationships the person or persons involved will do the previous listed examples of making it something it is not and drifting through. The experience of relationships is needed for an even bigger reason though, an individual's identity. As James Joyce says;
" A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery. "
IDENTITY
Identity is a very important and significant part of a person, and this holds true even more so in a relationship; if one - or both - people involved in a relationship do not know who he or she is then how can that couple know where they are going if individually speaking one or both parties is/are lost? Only when both individuals have character and identity due to prior experiences in life will their connection bridge to happiness and be able to support the weight of burdens, due to up and coming challenges. Before a relationship will even be successful the participating individuals must be able to live and enjoy life on their own. Before a person could ever even evaluate or think about diving into a relationship he or she would not only have to know who they are but want they want. There are couples who date for six or seven years and then are dismantled as only one of the two of them wishes to bring a newborn child into this world. Every person before settling down should be able to describe their partner and how she (or he) would look, act, react during different situations and her (or his) morals, beliefs, and even her (or her) *freak level(definition below). Writing the above information down is an extremely great exercise for any person to go through, as good as life goals, or maybe even better. As it is stated many times in many places we all look for someone; it is natural; might as well know what we want.
The actual question that ignited this whole conversation was "So should everyone have crazy sex stories before settling down?". In a short answer I looked at him and said "O FUCK YA (OFY)", but he would not let me just leave it at that as he quickly responded with "Really, how do you figure?". Are you kidding if a person has not tried everything he or she wanted to do he or she is still going to want to do it in a relationship. That person may bring it up leading to a resentment on one, if not both sides as one participant could resent the fact that the other would even ask of such a thing, while the other would resent due to not being able to enjoy on his or her sexual adventures. This sometimes leads to even worse pieces in relationships, such as: cheating; phone sex; strippers; hookers and more crazy things that will be the demise of the relationship. That is why I answered O fuck ya as both parties better enjoy their retarded nights of irresponsibility where they could try anything they wanted prior to a serious relationship; thus leaving temptation and resentment out of the way. Also it is another platform building on Identity.
Really to close it all down both people involved in the relationship need to know who they are, what they want to achieve in their life, and what they want and expect from their significant other. Each individual needs to have had enough experience to know how to handle different situations so that the relationship could work. Yet at the same time both individuals need to have seen enough and witnessed the actions of others to know when the relationship is going down a path that will end up hurting him or her. Really to have a pair bonding work you need to be able to live without it, and know that you could do without the relationship, but as of right now you do so as you enjoy it and it makes you happy. It is a decision that the participants make! They didn't just settle and if shit hit the fan; they would drop the dirty fan and wait for a new fan.
One word: IDENTITY. A person must know what he or she wants; what he or she will and wont accept; what morals are needed in their relationship. Identity is gained through experience socially; educationally; and OFY sexually! Until a person can reach harmony with who they are they are lost. If one is lost then joining with another is pointless.
THE Saint's definition-*Freak level:
The amount of kinkiness
in a women;how
big of a freak
she is.
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