Prerequisites to a P.B.

This is the second part to a blog entitled "P.B. Versus The "One"; I would recommend giving it a read before reading this but hey maybe just for fun you feel like doing it ass backwards; enjoy.

A pair bonding is an equilibrium of one another; it is both partners being able to be their complete self without worries, without even the slightest amount of doubt; the two of them know that they can tell each other anything. Not only this though; they support each other to the point of no return; none of this talking garbage; these two are willing to do anything to help the other; and asking for help is unnecessary; it is not needed. The partner just knows from the actions of his (or her) significant other. It is more than just a balance and a supporting system though, in a proper pair bonding the opposing sex challenges you to be a better you. Anytime he or she does anything they are more confident; more focused; and willing to challenge themselves to the utmost extent as they know their decisions will be supported and respected. Kind of like how any person in sports or music has their "time" during a proper pair bonding it is both of the individuals involved "time"; their auras just shine, lighting the world.


How does one get there?


It was not a lengthy duration ago when an extremely close friend of mine and I got into this intense conversation. At the beginning it was more of a comparison of one individual's relationship in relation to another person's relationship. Soon hereafter though we got into the deeper meaning of questions as to how a Pair bonding can work properly and what was needed prior to involving one's self into the realm of a serious relationship. Without the following things no relationship will work properly as you will make your partner resent you or will end up being a completely different person somewhere in the relationship. That is the most common issue when it comes to a long term relationship one day both partners involved; wake up wondering:

What happened?


What happened to the love we had why are we always arguing?


Where did the person I met go?



Young adolescents get into relationships so quickly and here they feel so enthralled with one and another. Next thing you know both parties are dropping the "L" word and telling everyone how they are not like other couples; these two are special; indestructible. Bullshit! Their relationship goes down the tube quicker than the little pigs house that was built out of straw; one huff and one puff and that is it all gone; poof; invisible. All that they had never mattered but they made it a big deal.

Almost everyone is afraid to end up alone, in a constant position of solitude and confinement, which includes having no one to make them laugh and smile when the times get rough. That is why they get into situations of settling where they know that they are not happy yet the relationship is both comfortable enough and works well enough to keep both people from running or finding something better.

Our whole day and age is all about comfort and luxuries.

This is why experience is a necessity to any individual prior to a solid working relationship of happiness and joy. Every person's failed efforts of love and relationships makes them better. They can analyze and learn what made this negative outcome occur and stop it from repeating itself.A man is mistreated and emotionally abused to the point where he snaps and disregards the women of whom he was in a relationship with and so he now knows not to let another relationship get to that point. A women is loving and caring, her boyfriend is unfaithful and promises he will never do it again and yet he destroys her trust and her heart once more; she now knows what can happen if she stays with someone who has cheated. Without the prior influence of relationships the person or persons involved will do the previous listed examples of making it something it is not and drifting through. The experience of relationships is needed for an even bigger reason though, an individual's identity. As James Joyce says;

" A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery. "

IDENTITY

Identity is a very important and significant part of a person, and this holds true even more so in a relationship; if one - or both - people involved in a relationship do not know who he or she is then how can that couple know where they are going if individually speaking one or both parties is/are lost? Only when both individuals have character and identity due to prior experiences in life will their connection bridge to happiness and be able to support the weight of burdens, due to up and coming challenges. Before a relationship will even be successful the participating individuals must be able to live and enjoy life on their own. Before a person could ever even evaluate or think about diving into a relationship he or she would not only have to know who they are but want they want. There are couples who date for six or seven years and then are dismantled as only one of the two of them wishes to bring a newborn child into this world. Every person before settling down should be able to describe their partner and how she (or he) would look, act, react during different situations and her (or his) morals, beliefs, and even her (or her) *freak level(definition below). Writing the above information down is an extremely great exercise for any person to go through, as good as life goals, or maybe even better. As it is stated many times in many places we all look for someone; it is natural; might as well know what we want.



The actual question that ignited this whole conversation was "So should everyone have crazy sex stories before settling down?". In a short answer I looked at him and said "O FUCK YA (OFY)", but he would not let me just leave it at that as he quickly responded with "Really, how do you figure?". Are you kidding if a person has not tried everything he or she wanted to do he or she is still going to want to do it in a relationship. That person may bring it up leading to a resentment on one, if not both sides as one participant could resent the fact that the other would even ask of such a thing, while the other would resent due to not being able to enjoy on his or her sexual adventures. This sometimes leads to even worse pieces in relationships, such as: cheating; phone sex; strippers; hookers and more crazy things that will be the demise of the relationship. That is why I answered O fuck ya as both parties better enjoy their retarded nights of irresponsibility where they could try anything they wanted prior to a serious relationship; thus leaving temptation and resentment out of the way. Also it is another platform building on Identity.


Really to close it all down both people involved in the relationship need to know who they are, what they want to achieve in their life, and what they want and expect from their significant other. Each individual needs to have had enough experience to know how to handle different situations so that the relationship could work. Yet at the same time both individuals need to have seen enough and witnessed the actions of others to know when the relationship is going down a path that will end up hurting him or her. Really to have a pair bonding work you need to be able to live without it, and know that you could do without the relationship, but as of right now you do so as you enjoy it and it makes you happy. It is a decision that the participants make! They didn't just settle and if shit hit the fan; they would drop the dirty fan and wait for a new fan.

One word: IDENTITY. A person must know what he or she wants; what he or she will and wont accept; what morals are needed in their relationship. Identity is gained through experience socially; educationally; and OFY sexually! Until a person can reach harmony with who they are they are lost. If one is lost then joining with another is pointless.

THE Saint's definition-*Freak level:
The amount of kinkiness
in a women;how
big of a freak
she is.

Honestly,Seriously, Truthfully, Really?

Holy fucking Christ I cannot believe how insane some people are it is unreal. What the hell am I talking about this time? Ladies and gentlemen, let me inform you; goodhearted -versus getting walked all over a.k.a. -> Abuse;to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way; including other individuals and ones-self.

I could give you a thousand different reasons as to the contrasts between a kindhearted person and someone being completely unrealistic; which ends in someone's excruciating pain, and, or in the steady supply of unnecessary stress.At this point l do not believe that this would be helpful and instead I shall be using the three examples that are standing out like an elephant walking through a shopping center. Trust me it shoots out at you to the point of no return; you may try to ignore it, but the more you hide the easier it eats at you as if it were a cannibal eating his final meal.

PROOF 1

Sweet; a gal I know is having her crazy needy friend come over. Well better she deal with it than I; neediness is so unattractive especially when it is to the point where restraining orders should probably be involved. She is sneaking in miss needy in her dorm where one of there rules is; no sleepover guests. Yet to help her supposed friend out she is going to hide her out there until she heads back which is at least a month. How does miss needy repay the genuine gesture and hospitality of my close friend; she tells her that she is bringing a guy and he is staying too. She lets this slide and does not even speak out or state that it is unacceptable. Even though there is a huge possibility that as a consequence to miss needy's actions that she may be evicted from her only living space.Good friend or nothing but a user?

PROOF 2

Example two is a novel involving an extremely wise and mature young man; with whom I have been lucky enough to work with as well as confide in as a trustful friend.Einstein's story is definitely an entertaining one ; his ex-girlfriend lends his mom and family money, and so he decides he owes her everything that is his.And so it happens she asks to move in with him into his bachelor suite; which normally consists of one room where your bed goes; there is the tiniest version of a kitchen ever possible and a small door that leads to a bathroom tucked away in the corner. Now, to me l wouldn't even want a roommate in this type of living situation and yet he was thinking not only of a girlie; but instead considering having his ex-girlfriend, stay there. Not for a night or even a week but half of a year, that's one- hundred and eighty two days. Are you kidding? Einstein makes his decision and confirms that he definitely will take her in.

Four o'clock in the morning and I am driving my dead tired ass over to his place; I am going to put this insane idea to a complete halt. I have my mission I am a mercenary I will sacrifice all of my time until this beautiful mind understands my point of view and perception that hopefully leads to his revelation. Also known as an epiphany: Bad fucking idea stop now. Four and a half hours later he and I have discussed this topic and every other topic underneath the sun until we were blue in the face I had done it. I had won he had realized that although she had done a good thing for his family that did not mean that he had to nor did it even partially justify his thought process of letting her stay with him and turn his reality upside down. To be one hundred percent serious though I did not win I just explained intensely and thoroughly that there were more sufficient ways in which he could still help her that would not make him sacrifice everything that he had learned and gained since the ending of their prior relationship. For example one of the new options that I had pushed as a more reasonable and ideal possibility was to help her find a place to stay with a friend or acquaintance of his.

PROOF 3

On the other side of the spectrum yes you got it stay on topic; women. Actually one in-particular; definitely another close friend of mine and once again someone I am content to say is in my life but sometimes she is; lets say; silly. I do not know her ex-boyfriend and as a well diverse man I choose not to pass judgment on anyone until I have witnessed it firsthand and more than once but also I would not sink down to the childish level to bash anyone; no time for that garbage. However everything I have heard from my friend has painted a dark disgusting and depressing picture of a person who uses, abuses, and actually enjoys hurting others.

This brilliant woman put herself through years of his torture; accepting his apologies repeatedly over and over believing that their love was well-worth it and that the pain she endured would make them stronger. Incorrect this great amazing character of a man dumped her when she had to move to her dream school. His girl was doing exceptionally well and had her greatest fantasies coming true and so he decides he has to throw her out like a bag of trash. Over the course of the next two years her ex abused her in more ways than I even feel like exposing everyone to. Absolutely repulsive. And yet she still had the psychotic idea to send him a text saying "How are you?".

Come on now you have gotta be fucking joking!

This is the same guy that has fucked her over left right and center; has mistreated her and crushed her heart into a million tiny pieces. How does this make sense? IT DOES NOT AT ALL. Her reasoning was just to see how he was doing; who the fuck cares? Why is it that she believes that she should still care and worry when he never even emotionally cared for her? Or if he did his actions and the way he presented himself in relation to her did not prove this true. She cares just as the above two examples were confident that this was part of being a good person.

There is a Line where a good person ends and the above examples are so far past it; two completely different galaxies.

There is a difference between being a kindhearted person or being in this other realm where a person lets themself sacrifice intolerable items, effort, time; for a false purpose. This is not a good person; a kind hearted person gives to the people who deserve it and does not waste his or her time with the people who are unappreciative or undeserving of his or her heart and feelings. For example one good hearted person may volunteer at a homeless shelter serving food and that person may get to know some of the homeless people but when one ends up killing someone for money this person does not go to see how they are doing in jail; as this person is NOT WORTH THEIR TIME. And as a kindhearted person he or she does not wish to invest on a lost cause as this person knows that there are many people out there that need love.

There are many ways a person will know when they have past this line or are even about to trek through this territory. Right of the bat the individual will have feelings of awkwardness and axiousness as they go too far. Next they will either be told from the people who genuinely and sincerely care for them that what they are doing is ridiculous or the person will just automatically conceal the fact that he or she is going through with the next operations and actions.


In the end it comes down to one question; in which you must remove your personal biases and feelings; walk a mile in the audience's shoes; how would you feel if your *sister*(*insert anyone you love with all your heart and who will fit into the situation that you are in) decided to follow through with what you are doing after she had been through the past that you had with that person?

And hopefully after you have asked yourself this question; honestly, seriously, and truthfully, you will see unimpeded, unobstructed, and
CRYSTAL CLEAR.

Also remember you can only be as good as the worst people around you. Your family and friends and even acquaintances can bring you up or be your downward spiral. You are in control and you get to choose who joins your life and for how long; so choose wisely. Do not let others walk all over you it is hard for people to see and even harder on yourself.


Chow,



Jesse

L.Y.A.

Love you, all.

In a world where most people are looking for their next instant gratification it can be hard to find time for one`s-self. As well as appreciation for the things that actually matter family, friends, and health. As a man raised in Canada who has seen all of North America I have witnessed this first hand a million times. People rushing into things whether it be buying a movie or video game or to the more severe side of the spectrum. Like a girl getting branded with her boyfriend`s initials or even further into an extreme point of intensity as a couple gets married drunk and disorderly in Vegas.

I could sit here and write a thousand different ways in which our society is always demanding the next "Thing" to bring them that instant joy (Social-networking sites, Dating sites, Fast-food restaurants, Job-sites, and last but definitely not least how about the entertaining late night infomercials?) . Instead of wasting my time talking about what everyone else is doing I am going to focus on the people important to myself and me; as an individual.

STORY TIME

Just a short while ago a friend of mine and I were talking about this in a lot more detail. She was explaining that even for her as a women how she hated Valentines Day. She went on to explain that it was due to the fact that it was a day where you supposed to do something for someone; instead of doing it as you wanted to. Why should loved ones or partners be assigned when and how to show their appreciation?

While I meshed with her thought process in some ways when I tried to explain that Valentines Day was no different than any of the other holidays it was interesting to see how or ideologies varied. While she only believed that Valentines Day was a unnecessary holiday; I argued that Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Family Day were also unreal; as you should show your love and appreciation for these people not yearly, not even weekly, but DAILY!

And this was the same reason that I personally will never get married (Does this mean I will never settle down? NO). So many things are taken for granted that it is absolutely ridiculous and with the outs (divorce, separation, prenuptial) set up there is no consequence to a person's actions. Why do I need a piece of paper or some specific day to show appreciation for the people I care for?

I DON'T. FUCK THAT. I APPRECIATE THEM DAILY!

With that being said the following people KNOW that I appreciate and love them to the point of no return; but I am proud to make it public. These are the people who have helped make me; ME!

• My Grandmother and Grandfather (Thank you for being the saints you are)

• My Brother (You crazy bastard, all the good stories we have and more to come)

• My Sister (The optimism and innocence you have rules)

• My Step-Dad (For the long discussions we have had about everything and anything)
  

• My Father& My Mother (Without you two I would not exist)

• My Friends (From the ones that are gone to the ones still in my life today you all rock)

• Ladies (Each one of you was beautiful and I am thankful for the experiences we shared)

There are so many events in my life that I appreciate whether they were positive or hardships that I had to go through; they helped me find myself; the TRUE ME! They helped me learn the qualities I would need to be a stronger and better person. Do not worry I will write about them soon.

Chow,

Jesse

P.B. Versus The "One"

Before I begin this will be a two piece topic, the first piece shall discuss the different variations in the thought process of these two beliefs while the second piece will be discussing when a person should get into a relationship and the prerequisites I see that are needed as a foundation to a happy and successful relationship.The second piece will be entitled "Prerequisites to a P.B.". With that being said here is part one.

Nope not peanut butter at least that is not what we will be discussing today. Instead Pair Bonding versus the "One" and how perspective changes depending on which one you believe in. Perspective is more than just your thoughts on this though as the thoughts you harbor in your mind change the way you act and speak which ends up changing people's reactions to you.


Pair bonding is the belief that through out this world there are many individuals of whom you are attracted to and can have a solid happy relationship with. These people come and go at random times and it is you and that person who decide if it works or not. It all depends on if you two are willing to make it the content happiness that it can be.

While the "One" is the belief that there is only one specific person out there for you and that fate and destiny are in control of it. Or maybe even someone's god will make sure that the cards land in your hand.


Personally pair bonding is the only option that makes any sense whatsoever. Come on now has fate, destiny, or even god, ever got you to where you wish to be? That school you wanted to go to? That girl you wanted to date? That concert you wanted to see? That job you wanted to have? Or any of the other possible variations of this question that could be asked?


FUCK NO

It takes work! Everything takes work and effort as without any initiative why would you be handed the experience to make you a better person, someone who evolves and can adapt?

I do believe that everyone has experienced the "One" as we are bred by our parents and the media to think this way.

Now that we have an explanation of the two different beliefs let me explain an average relationship in both cases from beginning to break up.

The "One" relationship would consist of the two participants being extremely needy as they both believe that they are always to be in each others lives. It is possible that this relationship would include a lot of hypocrisy in such a way that one partner would be able to do more things than the other. Over time the fighting would get ridiculous however due to the participants' belief systems the two of them would endure this pain for a long period of time. Sooner or later the straw would break the camel's back as the constant fighting and unhappiness would lead to one of the two participants snapping and deciding that it is no longer worth it. And when this relationship ends both parties will go into a huge downfall of negativity as what they believed to be right had just been flushed down the toilet.


A Pair bonding relationship on the other hand is on a more sociological wavelength of thought as both participants know that there are other people out there that can also join with them to build a complete content relationship. Due to this they look at each other as equals and put in the effort needed to keep one another happy. If this relationship stopped being happy on either person's side then it would be discussed and if the happiness did not go up it would end rather quickly. This would happen as the unhappy person would know that nothing had changed and that there were other options out there to be happy with. After the breakup both parties would be awkward and saddened but their belief systems would not be crushed.

Which Perspective Sounds Better to YOU?

Stuck

Well it was another awesome day as always and I was heading home from running a Circuit. It did not take me long and I even got to enjoy the brisk air on my face as I walked to my apartment. Making my way inside all I could think about was anything and everything as I was so exhausted and wanted to keep my mind off of this thought process.


And then it happens...


Now if any of you have read Elek's blog then you will know that Calgary is known for over priced places that come with practically nothing. Believe me when I say nothing is included I mean nothing; even maintenance is not included. And this is how I ended up stuck in an elevator for an hour and a half... again!

This time it was so late that I was trapped in solitary confinement and had no one to socialize with. Due to this I needed to find some way to keep me entertained so that I did not fall asleep on the elevator. This is where my phone came in extremely handy as I am a technological handicap to say the least. So I figured might as well learn some more about it try and make myself more efficient and productive with this tool. Instead of achieving that; I found an interesting contraption that I hope others have on their phone as well.

The contraption I am about to explain is known as "My Words" and is a device that saves all of the words that you use in your texts that did not exist in the phone's dictionary prior to you using it. And as I read through these words I laughed my ass off and so I hope you enjoy them as much as I do:

1)Anal


2)Aphrodite


3)Asshole


4)Bastards


5)Batch


6)bday


7)Bikini


8)Bitch


9)Blah


10)Chickaboos


11)Chodes


12)Chow


13)Clit


14)Confuckled


15)Crap


16)Cum


17)Deepthroat


18)Douchebag


19)Dipshit


20)Fiesty


21)Freaking


22)Fuck


23)Fucked


23)Fuckfest


24)Fucking


25)Gayness


26)Goofball


27)Gstring


28)Jackass


29)Kinky


30)Kool


31)Kopy


32)Kutey


33)Matress


34)Meh


35)Mermaids


36)Missy


37)Narnia


38)Nite


39)Nudes


40)Nympho


41)Pringles


42)Pua


43)Pussy


44)Ruckus


45)Sarge


46)Scriggler


47)Scrigglers


48)Secretary


49)Sex


50)Shithead


51)Shutup


52)Skullfucking


53)Skitzo


54)Tantra


55)threesome


56)Timmie's


57)Tits


58)Wakey


59)Whore


60)YAY!




Chow,



Jesse